Oh goodness. I received so much love today! Mom, I got one of your packages full of goodies. Thank you so much. And all the dear elders I was supposed to get last week arrived today so I probably have 20 things, plus the package full of letters too. But thank you so much! Oh man...
I think that is how I start out every email. haha But every week is almost nearly indescribable. They just keep getting better. I really have no words. This week is going to be a little different though. I wrote you a letter addressed to dad about my last proselitismo and all the good details in there. I learned so much as always. But this week I wanted to focus on one very specific thing that I learned through my personal study.
As you know, we get one full hour of personal study every day and then we continue with other studies. I have come to realize (as probably every missionary will tell you) -- that one hour is the best thing I could have ever experienced and it goes by way too fast now. I swear, I’m sitting there for 2 minutes … then it’s over. I just indulge.
So we have nice scriptures that they gave us in Spanish and no case right now for them to be carried in. So the tradition here is to make a cardboard box for it, decorate it and then tape it up all nice. It’s really very cool and we had a lot of fun with it. But that was our project this week. I wanted to use very specific pictures to collage my box (as you know how much I love to collage things) and everyone else uses the pictures from preach my gospel or the folletos (pamphlets) we hand out. I decided to ask Hermana George for old Ensigns she might have had. Now... you don’t realize how cherished the Ensigns are here. There are none except for a few smart people who brought them beforehand and we all crave the words of the prophets. Anyway...long story short, she gave me the general conference edition from last October. Naturally, I realize how sacred this book is and decide to take nothing from it. Instead, I remembered how much I love the Ensign and I decided to read from it every day during personal study.
I LOVE THE ENSIGN. I have forgotten. Just look through the conference edition. The pictures in it are so amazing. I don’t know if I can describe it to you, but the pictures have such a light about them. Every one you look at brings you a true sense of joy and it touches me so much. I’m not sure if that’s the photographer in me, but I just wanted to try and convey the happiness it brings me. This gospel is the only thing we need! Nothing else matters... nothing. Look at those pictures and tell me that clothes, money and other things of the world matter. The smiles on the faces of the people, the joy, the knowledge, the divinity of this gospel is present throughout the magazine and that’s all we could ever need. I went a step further too. I started marking all the scriptures at the end of each talk in my scriptures and it has become a very tedious process… One that I enjoy greatly though. I can hardly get through a single talk every hour, but I remember one that I really liked. It was by President Eyring and it’s called "Trust in the Lord and Then Go and Do."
I listened to this talk when we got rejected from going into the conference center in October. I was so bummed, but Kenny and his family turned on the radio as we drove home and I remembered hearing this talk while driving home. The spirit was so very, very strong. His words are so powerful. It’s amazing how I think all the talks in the Ensign were made for missionaries. Haha But when I was home, they applied to me as just a normal girl trying to get through life. That, in and of itself, is a testimony of the greatness and complexity, yet simplicity, of God’s plan. How can every talk that’s given apply to all of us in the world at the exact time we need them? There IS a higher power. I don’t know how anyone could deny it, yet they do. I could never, and will never. No matter the problem in life, the gospel is the answer. I don’t care what it is. That’s what we are taught here, and we are beginning to witness it in the lives of those who have not had the gospel. It is simply amazing.
This talk by Pres. Eyring was about obviously trusting in God... READ THIS TALK. If it is the last thing you ever do. It’s teachings are so powerful. We must trust in the Lord in everything we do. We must turn our hearts over to him, and as hard as it is... it is the answer to everything. This is something I deal with and confront on a daily basis. I’m still trying to learn how to do it. Pride gets in the way, lack of faith gets in the way, but step by step we can do it. A lack of trust brings sadness to us. He goes on to mention that there was a lack of trust even in the pre-existence. The third who followed Satan’s plan lacked the proper trust to follow God’s plan and continue to grow and progress. It’s amazing how that can be when they knew Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. That goes to show you how strong the devil really is. We chose to come here. We have already taken the first step in trusting God, and for that he is grateful and happy.
Moving on…. just a little personal testimony builder on Saturday. One thing I didn’t mention; I had one goal when I went out there. In PMG it says that we begin teaching by simply loving the people. I never thought they were bad or anything, but I am still striving to develop that deep love for them. I prayed for one thing all day and it was that... just that I could allow the spirit of God to work through me and give them a little piece of Jesus Christ. We are his representatives, and if they (for one second) don’t feel of his love, then we are not fulfilling our purpose as missionaries. We went out there and I got more genuine smiles than I ever have while being here in Argentina. People are generally scared of us because we aren’t them. But they smiled and they smiled big, and you can’t help but love that. We received more help with our crappy map, more assistance in the stores, more people serving us than I felt like we were serving them. It was such a humbling experience. These are Heavenly Father’s children! He loves them just as much as he does us, just as much as those in prison for committing grievous sins, or not! He loves us, and I felt the spirit working through me to love them stronger and give them the gift of this amazing gospel. They need what we have... that’s all I know.
I have a testimony of this gospel and I truly know that through Jesus Christ, his gospel, and our families, we need nothing more in this life. Heavenly Father has a plan for us and loves us more than anything. I am humbled to be a part of this work. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like when I really get out there. Haha
P.S. 11 more days. I’m sorta freaking out. haha But all is well over here. I am continually learning and growing and being stretched to my max. Thank you for all the love. I love you (my family) more than anything else in this entire universe. I spend 10 minutes each day on my knees making sure Heavenly Father knows how much I appreciate the fact that he has given me all of you, and often times I am driven to tears because of it. Never take each other for granted! I’m not kidding : ) Be good, stand as a witness of Jesus Christ and let his gospel make and keep you happy. I love you all so much!
Love, Ash
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