Sunday, December 5, 2010

My Last Day of Work...

i realize this post is farely long, but trust me when i say you wont regret reading it...


At least at one job. Naturally I had to go out with a bang. Little did I know exactly how big that bang would be.

So funny story of my life/ job is this stupid mouse that has been torturing me there. I'm not overly scared of them but he sneaks up on me in the most perfect of ways, im sure just to hear my harmonious squeals. Its great, for him at least. Anyway he has found a hole in the shop and even when I'm not still, even while I'm moving around working he always appears at my feet. Its gross first of all, but really? He is one brave little thing.

So tonight, I'm sitting at the computer, I see a piece of string; or so I thought swaying at my feet. But I look down and its just nothing. I look again and there's that thing. He makes me really mad. (And to top it all off my boss won't let us kill him. It should be against health code, but the place is so old I'm sure noone ever checks on it.) So I freak out a little and I'm convinced tonight that I'll find a way to kill the beast. So I furiously start spraying windex at the hole it pops through. ridiculous i know. When I've gotten all my anger out at the hole, I start to realize that's really going to do nothing and he'll just be back tomorrow; hence my thinking cap. "I will figure out how to kill you."

I search the place, I could put pointy objects in its way, hmm, heavy objects in front of the hole, but ya know, that's really not going to do any good. He'll find a way somewhere else. Oh yeah. He's just that good. So I start thinking like a little murderer ha. Naturally my thoughts turn to the pepper spray we have just in case someone attacks us in the shop. Shear joy, nothing but shear joy folks. I pull it out and read the instructions quickly on the back. "Avoid contact with YOUR OWN skin, eyes, and mucus membrane." Yeah yeah. So I run to the hole and I spray that stuff hard core in the hole.

Next thing I know I can't breathe, I start choking and the fumes that have just filled my lungs I'm sure are going to kill me. Worst feeling ever. I book it out into the cold and try to get some fresh air. I just so happened to still be holding the can of spray in my hands. As I glance down at it and read more fully what this terrible stuff is, one word sticks out to me, GAS. Not pepper spray, not like, "I can spritz this in your eyes you nasty burglar and be fine," but GAS. as in, "I'm gonna spray this in the room your in and have it fill up the whole chamber. you'll breathe it in and die, but first I gotta make sure I'm outta there." Ugh I'm so stupid. and now I realize I can't even breathe outside. And I start to figure out that the can I'm holding is still giving off the fumes and I toss the can back inside the shop.

Long story short my friends, man they make this stuff well! That's good I suppose, means noone who comes after you when you have a bottle of that in hand will be pursuing you. But I couldn't go back into the shop the entire rest of the night. I opened the door and window to let it air out and still had to count down the till by running inside, grabbing the 20's and running back out to breathe. Grab the 10's, and so on and so forth. The only thing that makes me the slightest bit happy is knowing I'm SURE that devil of a mouse didn't survive the thing.

...Too bad it was my last day anyway : )

2 comments:

Liana Brown said...

I would just like you to know I laughed my butt off at this story!!! Then I read it to my mom and sis and they laughed too! Your too cute! Good luck Ashley!!

anna said...

oh my gosh! what a funny story!!
you crack me up.